Little Book of Feelings
by tr1st3n
Summary: had to get over poet's block. r
1. Meaning

What is love?  
A word?  
A felling?  
Something your brain creates so you have something to live for?  
What is its purpose?  
To trick you?  
To trap you?  
To deceive your very soul?  
I have yet to figure out what it is for, for I am only 15.  
When I figure out why it is here, I shall let you know.  
  
H. Potter 


	2. Warm, Safe, Loved

All Alone in the heat of the night,  
I can feel your arms holding me tight.  
  
I see what you're seeing,  
I hear what you hear.  
  
While we're both thinking  
"I'm warm, safe, and loved."  
  
H. Potter 


	3. Anger and Understanding

They treat me like a little child  
And it makes me absolutely sick!  
Sick with worry as the time ticks by  
Not knowing what is happening outside  
  
They treat me like a little child  
And sometimes I understand  
They are just trying to protect  
My fragile teenage mind  
  
But if they care so much  
Why not let me know  
"It's top secret," they say  
"And if we tell you, you'll get in the way."  
  
I guess they haven't heard the saying,  
"What others don't know could kill them."  
  
H. Potter 


	4. Fate

I feel that fate is mocking me,  
And destiny's up there too.  
The gods see all that's happening;  
And they aren't helping me through.  
  
I used to cry because it hurt;  
But now I laugh in return.  
They have no power over me;  
At least none that I can see.  
  
I'll show them I can live;  
Through the hurt and the pain.  
For what is life without sorrow?  
Without sorrow there's nothing to gain.  
  
Written by one Harry James Potter in regards to having fate control my entire life. Well I'm not gonna let it happen anymore. 


	5. Some Day or One Way Or Another

Some day this prophecy will come to and end  
I'll finally be able to live my life as I see fit  
  
Some day I won't have to see their expecting faces  
But the faces of the ones who care  
  
Some day I'll be free to run around as I please  
Not having to look over my shoulder all the time  
  
Some day this will be nothing but a memory  
That will have little meaning to me  
  
Some day this prophecy will come to an end  
One way or another my life will finally be mine  
  
H. Potter 


	6. Alone

All I want is to be alone  
To be with my thoughts  
Whether they are full of guilt, anger, sadness  
It doesn't matter  
All I want is to be alone  
  
But then if I am alone  
Who will be there to pull me out of my thoughts?  
To keep me from getting depressed, lonely, sad?  
  
No matter the answer  
I still want to be alone 


	7. Fear

I have often heard the quote,  
"The only thing to be afraid of,  
is fear its self."  
If that's the case,  
I think I have found a new meaning of fear.  
  
Fear is not knowing if you are going to be possessed;  
Be forced to kill, maim, torture the ones you love  
Yet still be alive to live every moment  
  
Fear is knowing if you are putting your friends in danger  
Yet they stay by your side as if you don't care  
  
Fear is fearing yourself  
And it's about time I stop that 


	8. Drowning

I feel as though I'm drowning  
In a sea of misery and guilt  
Anger and Pain  
Loss and Sorrow  
  
I feel as though I'm trapped  
In my own frail teenage mind  
Shutting everyone out  
Leaving hurt and anger in my wake  
  
I feel as though I'm drowning  
In a pool of concern and worry  
Happiness and Sadness  
Laughter and tears  
  
I feel as though I'm stuck  
Between a rock and a hard place  
Knowing that no matter what I choose  
It all goes back to my family  
  
I feel as though I'm drowning  
In a world of deceit and despair  
Frantically searching for a way  
To get a little bit of air 


	9. Chess

Chess is an interesting game  
If I do say so myself  
It teaches you how to manipulate the pieces  
And make them do what you want  
  
I believe that is how Dumbledore perceives life  
Thinking that he is the chess master  
And we are nothing but the pawns  
We are expendable to him  
  
I also believe Voldemort perceives life like this  
He is the chess master of his own set of pieces  
Willing to crush them himself if he has to  
Which he has done before and will do again  
  
I wonder what will happen when they notice that the pawns have caught onto  
their game 


	10. Nobody

I have been a no-body for so long  
I don't know how to be anybody anymore  
I don't know how to think for myself  
I don't even know how to feel for myself  
  
I have been a no-body for so long  
I kno that nobody can help me 


	11. Wonder

I wonder what it would be like to have my parents around. Would they try to annoy the crap out of me or would they leave me alone?  
Would they be ashamed or proud of the things I've accomplished?  
Would they love or hate me?  
  
All these questions will never have any answers for my parents are dead.  
  
H. Potter 


	12. Wishful Thinking

Sometimes I find myself wishing I had parents.  
To watch me play a game;  
To teach me chess;  
To tuck me in at night.  
Sometimes I find myself envious of those who have parents.  
They have the love I've always wanted;  
The happiness;  
The contentment.  
Sometimes I pity those who have parents.  
Always so sheltered;  
So coddled;  
So overprotective.  
Sometimes I wonder why I was important enough to live.  
Were my parents' lives really worth it?  
There best friends lives?  
.My life?  
Sometimes I find myself wishing I had died instead.  
Maybe my parents would still be alive;  
Maybe Cedric would be alive;  
Maybe even Sirius.  
Sometimes I find myself wishing my parents were alive;  
Because maybe my life would not be so difficult. 


	13. My Life

My life seems to be an everlasting circle.  
It's always the same thing;  
Have a shitty summer,  
Go to school not knowing if your gonna be killed,  
Get someone ELSE killed in the learning process,  
Then get your answers AFTER someone dies.  
Not a very pleasant cycle is it.  
My life is like a figure 8.  
Always looping around  
With an end to not be found  
It seems fate likes to make me wait  
It needs me to be someone's bait  
So that they get answers  
While I'm left in the dark  
Waiting and cooperating  
Till I hit my breaking point  
At scream obscenities at them all  
About how they make me wait for a call  
Spend time with my horrid family  
And leave me in the dark uninformed  
All their lies are wearing on my nerves and trust  
They're gonna make like steel and rust  
Then who will be their little pawn  
Certainly not me  
H. Potter 


	14. Love and Hurt

I'm so tired of being hurt  
But I keep running back to you  
Hoping that you've changed  
And my heart breaks again  
Yet you come back as if it were a game  
And I lose every-time.  
I think of the way we used to hang  
How we used to talk all night  
And it breaks my heart  
Because I know it was a farce  
Something fake and pretended  
Yet I love you anyway.  
I'm so tired of being left behind  
But I keep running back to you  
Hoping that you've changed  
And my heart breaks again  
Because you continue to play as if it were a game  
And I still lose every-time. 


	15. Love and Hate

To love is to hate  
To hate is to love  
You can't do one without the other  
You can't live without both  
There is a fine line between love and hate  
How do you know when you've crossed it?  
To love is to hate  
To hate is to love  
There is no life without the other  
No matter how hard you try to get on  
  
H. Potter 


	16. Boredom

Boredom  
The worst feeling in the world  
Knowing you have nothing to do  
Yet wanting, yearning  
For anything to spark your interest  
Bring colour back to your life  
Bring life back to your eyes  
Bring your eyes back to the real world  
Boredom  
The worst feeling in the world  
  
H. Potter 


	17. Heart

Love  
Unjustified emotion  
Bringing, shattering, leaving  
Destroys souls, saves life  
Heart 


	18. December

My December  
  
A cold winter night  
Everywhere there is happiness and love  
Joy and laughter  
Permeated with sadness and pain  
  
The peace that was settled  
Was slowly shattered  
Destroyed so very quickly  
Like it didn't even matter  
  
Silence reigned where there once was sound  
Cries ruled where laughter once was  
With the sound and laughter gone  
The snow was that much colder 


	19. Possible

I used to be full  
But now I am empty  
I used to be happy  
But now I am sad  
I used to laugh  
But now I cry instead  
I used to love you  
But now I don't think it possible 


	20. The World

The world is spinning round and round  
Not waiting for you to catch up  
Everything's turned all upside down  
Your life is now in a rut  
Things just may change for you to see  
Nothing's as it appears to be.  
The whole world's a farce  
Pretending to be one  
Yet living as another...  
Giving you a world of trouble  
For one little mistake  
Taking it upon itself  
To make you repent  
To forgive, to grieve  
To humiliate you in front of the world  
Letting all know of you failure  
Asking them to goad you  
Forcing them to taunt and tease  
And laugh and laugh and laugh  
The world is spinning round and round  
Hoping to pass you by  
As the time slowly flows  
You understand that's the way it goes  
It finally clicks that the world is one thing  
And one thing only  
A place  
A place to observe the world traits  
And bad habits 


	21. Unjustified Emotion

The feeling most longed for  
But also the most denied  
The one thing people strive for  
But the most with tears often cried  
Love is an unjustified emotion  
Wanting to drown you in misery  
Swaying you with its ever tempting potion  
Pulling you in with revelry  
This wonderful creation found by few  
So sad because it's lost to many  
So this emotion must make dew  
With a love that's still a plenty 


	22. Greatest Question of All

The greatest question of all  
Is the one with no answers.  
It can make or break a family;  
It can blind or lead a life.  
The question causes confusion-  
Causes thought, distraction;  
Can cause happiness or grief;  
Smiles or pain.  
The greatest question of all  
Is the one so frequently asked;  
Is the simplest of all:  
"Why?" 


	23. Musings

  
  
I spend my time wondering  
Pondering anything and one thing  
Everything and nothing

I spend my time thinking  
Remembering things past  
Guessing the future

I spend my time contemplating  
Analyzing my existence and morals  
Looking at life in general

I spend my time watching  
Studying the habits of people  
Learning those of my own

I spend my time wishing  
For happiness and love  
For you


	24. Survival

Life  
A game  
Risk and chance  
Kill or be killed

Power  
Domination  
Spies and blackmail  
Trick or be tricked

The way of all  
Mobile or sessile  
Two legs or four  
Wings or scales

Survival of the fittest  
A game too well played


	25. Vrai ou Faux

Love is something known to many  
But treasured by few  
Used to express gratitude and happiness  
Given to others as a token of affection

Love is used to start or end wars  
Give birth to or wipe out civilizations  
Some use it for power and greed  
Others for simple happiness

Love is something known to many  
But treasured by few  
How do you know when you have it  
Or simply being used


	26. Solitude

Solitude

Solitude is a tangible stillness

The ultimate calm

The quintessence of silence

A safe haven

Solitude is like a blanket

Wraps around you tightly

Providing warmth and security

Time to think

Solitude offers a chance to get away

To leave stress and worry behind

To have time for yourself

A freedom loved


	27. Time

Time

Too little

Uncontrollable

Demanding

Gentle

Uninhabitable

Innovating

Questioning

Damning

Time


	28. To Die Today

If you were to die today

How would you want to be remembered?

By you name, your attitude;

Your opinions; your feelings?

Would you like to be the hero;

Or would you prefer the martyr?

Do you want fame and glory;

Or simple recognition?

If you were to die today

How would you family remember you?

As the person you show your friends

Or yourself as you should be?


	29. Forfeit

My life I forfeit to you

For poorer or richer

In sickness and in health

I do all things through you

For you are my rock

My shelter from the pain

To be with you is the ultimate contentment

The most tranquil moment in life

The rarest peace

I love you in your entirety

For better of for worse

My life I forfeit to you


End file.
